 
"Gracie! Oh, Gracie! Have you heard about that poor woman in Wisconsin?" Patrick
was huffing and puffing as he rushed into Grace's tiny apartment at the Haven of Rest Homeless Shelter in New York City.
"Slow down," Grace said, pushing Patrick towards the sofa. "What woman? And
what happened to her?"
"I can't remember her name for sure," Patrick said, "but it is Audrey something.
She lost everything she owned--her home, her husband, her job, her career. She ended up out on the street, just like you did,
until I..."
"I know," Grace said, smiling warmly at Patrick. "Until you rescued me."
"Yup," Patrick said with a huge grin on his face. "It's just part of the job for one of New York's finest."
"So what happened to this Audrey?" Grace asked.
"Well, she made a friend
with an old bag lady, but then the friend died, so she lost her too."
"That is so sad," Grace said, wiping a tear
from her eye. "How did she die? Was she mugged?"
"I think she had cancer," Patrick explained. "Anyway, maybe we can help
Audrey."
"How?" Grace asked. "She's in Wisconsin and we are in New York. What could we possibly do for her?"
"We
do have something in common with her," Patrick explained. "You know that nosy woman, Janet Elaine Smith, the one who thinks
she is responsible for EVERYTHING that happens to us?"
Grace smirked. "Oh, HER!"
"Well, it seems that poor Audrey has one of them, too. Her name is Billie Williams.
At least Billie has done one thing to try to help Audrey, instead of just trying to run her whole life."
"What's that?"
Grace asked, her curiosity getting the best of her.
"She--this Billie woman--has put up a really neat article on her website about
Audrey and about the homeless. You really should go take a look at it."
"Where do I find it?" Grace asked.
In no time at all, Patrick was at Grace's brand new computer and had typed in
http://www.billiewilliams.com/HOMELESS.html and they were both looking at it, nodding in agreement and understanding at every
word Billie had written.
Ah! New York CIty! Home Sweet Home!
I have spent my life as one of New York's finest--a cop! My name is Patrick O'Mally. Now my time is up. I can live a
life of leisure. Retirement! The mere sound of the word is music to my ears.
Of course I never expected to run into Grace Johnson. She's provided some "variety" in my life. Ha! So that's what it
is. When my fingers started itching and my feet started twitching because I didn't have a case to delve into, Father O'Brien
over at St. Patrick's Cathedral quickly solved my problem. But I hadn't planned on Grace sticking her nose in the middle of
my newest cases. (Don't you dare tell her that her "women's intuition" is more on-target than my "gut instincts."
I have to admit, we do make quite a pair. Senior sleuths, that's what they call us. Then, as if Grace isn't enough
of a challenge, the nuns over at the convent had to go and get Sister Babs, the psychic nun, whose habit has a habit of its
own, mixed up in trying to find the missing Mother Superior.
You can read more about that in Old Habits Die Hard. For a sneak peek at the third Patrick
and Grace Mystery, click here.
Oh, one more thing. If you have visited our home on the Net before, don't worry about Grace. She's right down below me.
I figure she's had top billing long enough. It's my turn now.
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Hello. My name is Grace Johnson. I am an elderly widow who lives in New York
City. I used to live in an apartment like the ones you see here. But that was before Patrick O'Mally came
into my life. Boy, did things change then!
I don't want to bore you with all of that now. You can see my whole life's
story (in a nutshell) if you will just go to the left side of the page and click on About Me.
But first, see the scruffy little pooch over to your right? Well, that's a story and a half. I'll give you a few hints
while you're here, but to get the whole story, you'll have to read the book.
Why is this place called Crumby Capers? All my life, I've been cooking. First I cooked for my husband,
God rest his soul. Then I cooked for all my kids. Now they want to "put me away." Well, not on your life! Not when I'm cooking
for the whole doggone crew at the Haven of Rest Homeless Shelter. Nosiree, bob! I've got a whole lot of trouble
to cook up, and you can come along to taste it.
If you stay long enough, I'll even give you a clue about a great recipe. You see, I'm famous now! People
all over the country--no, all over the world--are writing letters to Janet Elaine Smith about me. She's the one who dreamed
me up. (That's a little secret I'm letting you in on. Some people think I'm real. I'm just in black-and-white. But I'm having
so much fun, I really don't care at all.)
Come on inside and take a look around. If you have any questions for me, just go to my Contact Me page
and send me an e-mail. I promise I'll answer.
It's going to be fun getting to know all of you. Naomi Dunavan, a nice lady in Grand Forks, North Dakota,
wrote a review about my first book. She said, "You are going to want to have coffee with Grace. I just know you are." Isn't
she special? Oh, my! I sound just like "the Church lady" on Saturday Night Live! Well, come on in. The coffee pot
is always on.
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